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BEING A GREAT LISTENER

BEING A GREAT LISTENER

8 ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS & BEING A GREAT LISTENER – If there is one thing common for all the truly successful people in the world, it’s because they are a great listener. Do you find it funny when someone says “I hear you”? Hearing is completely different to listening to them. When you listen, you are taking information in, processing it, learning it and then applying it to your decision making.

What is essential to building great wealth is being a good listener because there are consequences of not listening. It can be a disaster for your finances like losing a client or misunderstanding a customer’s concerns and so on.

People can fool themselves into thinking that they’re great listeners. But based on a global study, people are also distracted and are multitasking at the same time. Usually, when an average person is done talking to someone, he remembers only about half of what he has actually heard, even if he thinks he was listening.

Being a great listener is difficult because your mind is always in a rush, your focus is always moving between the past and the future like everybody else unconsciously, while being held up with anxieties, overthinking and worries. But fear not, there is a skill that is easy to learn and perfect. What is it?

It’s called ACTIVE LISTENING. This is how it works.

Listening well is a reward you give to whoever you are talking to. It makes them feel they are respected, valued, put at a high regard and it makes you better informed. Here are the 8 keys to ACTIVE LISTENING so you can be a great listener.

  • Show that you are listening by nodding, showing agreement, saying words like “I follow” or “I understand”. Do not be like Gary Vaynerchuk where he loves to interrupt whoever he is talking to. For whatever reason he explains why he does it is just plain inexcusable. I love Gary for all that he stand for but interrupting people when they talk, especially if they have a great point, is unacceptable.
  • When someone is speaking, stop planning in your head what you want to say in response and just hear the other person. When you think what you will say while they are still talking, you are missing out half of their point.
  • Be in the moment. Be present in the conversation by sitting or standing still when listening to others. Put your phone away (it’s a no-no to put your phone on the table when in a meeting, unless it’s used to take down notes or record it) and look at the other person’s face when they speak. Close your eyes as you listen to them while on the phone. Look at the computer screen as you listen to them on a video conference. When it’s your time to talk, look at the camera lens, not on the screen.
  • When they’re done speaking, pause and take all in what they’ve said.
  • Before you give your justifications or answers, discuss and agree that you’re both on the same page.
  • Show yourself and them that you clearly understood what they said. Summarize back to them what you heard them say in a nutshell.
  • You can ask clarifying questions to make sure what you think you heard is actually what the other person was talking about. This is key when there are emotions involved and someone’s words may not be accurate, objective or clear to you.
  • You may write down notes of what was discussed, but not word for word. You can email the other person you are talking to a summary to ensure that you are practicing active listening.

    I’ve been in to many conversations with people who look at me and seem to understand what I was saying, but in reality, they are just staring into blank space. Get them to acknowledge what you’re message was. I have a habit of saying this phrase when I make a long point “Does that make sense to you?” and when they agree, that’s when I try to continue. Otherwise, I would have to slow down a bit to the person’s level of active listening skills. Be aware that not everyone is a great listener, and what would be worse if you both are not great at listening. It would be a complete waste of time and effort to do so. And that is how it is with being a great listener.

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What people talk 84 Comments

January 22, 2021 rhona

Listening has become a rare skill in this noisy world, where everyone talks and screams. But when you talk, you typically don’t learn anything new. Listening is powerful because it teaches us how other people think. Listening enriches us with new ideas, insights and compassion.

January 22, 2021 jocelyn

Practice active listening. This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, try to understand the complete message being sent.

In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully.

You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counter arguments that you’ll make when the other person stops speaking. Nor can you allow yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is saying. All of these contribute to a lack of listening and understanding.

January 22, 2021 Joseph Santos

There is a difference between hearing and listening.

We assume that, as long as we can hear someone and understand their words that we are listening. Hearing alone, however, is not enough. Among other things, we need to comprehend what’s being said and why, reflect on intentions, and consider non-verbal communication.

Listening is one of the foundations of society – it is what enables us to form meaningful relationships and connections. And yet most of us haven’t thought about how we listen.

January 22, 2021 Hans Angelo

To be an active listener, we must try to go beyond the words and form a rich picture of the other person’s emotions and intentions.

January 22, 2021 edward

Educate yourself on common cognitive biases and shortcuts. Learn to spot them in yourself and others and to see how they impede communication. Avoid trying to respond immediately. Allow the other person time to finish speaking, then provide a considered response. Consider first if it is a shift or support response.

January 22, 2021 edward

Increase your motivation to listen. This is known as the affective framework for active listening. This motivation might be the desire to improve a relationship, follow instructions without wasting time, make someone feel better or to make an exchange as clear as possible.

January 22, 2021 aldwin

There are no secrets to be a good listener. The reason why people are bad listeners is because they listen to reply, instead of listen to understand.

When you listen to understand, the people you are listening to will feel it too, and they will eventually open up to you, because they know that you will listen. That is perhaps the most heartwarming moment for me, when they finally feel secured enough to open up to you.

Give them time. There isn’t a need to tell them explicitly that you are a good listener, they will know it soon enough. When they are ready, they will proceed at their own pace. Do not rush them

January 22, 2021 Anton

Always listen. Never stop listening, never stop understanding.

With sufficient time and patience, they will pour their souls out to you, knowingly and unknowingly. In our technology-laden world, a good listener is rare. When people land their hands on one, they relish in their presence and ears, and pour what they have bottled inside them out. All the words come gushing out. Relish in it. Be glad and grateful that people are allowing you to listen to them. It’s a great honour, and it will always be the greatest honour for me.

January 22, 2021 Janeth

Curiosity is required to become a great listener. If you are not interested in the speaker then you are never going to give the speaker your full attention.

January 22, 2021 Janeth

Then compassion, empathy, a listening heart, patience and love is the other ingredients required to become a great listener. Next is the ability to empty your mind to be present with the speaker and step into their shoes and feel their words as they express their thoughts and emotions.

Asking questions to clarify what you picked up from the speaker is also important. Then body language is what gives the speaker a solid idea that you are fully engaged in what they are sharing with you.

January 22, 2021 Jerome

Great listeners never say the other person is “wrong”. They say things like “I disagree with you” or “how did you get to that conclusion?” or “where did your information come from?”

Emotional intelligence is a great skill to have to become a great listener as they never react to what the speaker is saying. They listen to the speaker with a listening heart, with love, patience and the intent to understand and they validate and acknowledge the speaker.

I learned to say “I acknowledge what you said” and that validates the speaker which is very powerful.

January 22, 2021 genesis

A good listener is attentive. They make good eye contact, don’t interrupt what the other person is saying and show an interest in what is being communicated. There’s always something incredible you can hear in anyone’s story. A good listener does not look over the shoulder of the person that’s speaking, waiting for someone more interesting to come along.

January 22, 2021 genesis

A good listener does not check their phone or tablet in the middle of a conversation, when someone is sharing with them. A good listener is not waiting for their chance to get a word in, treating the ‘period of listening’ as a pause in their ‘monologue.’ Being so focused on trying to get ones view over is insensitive and misses the real value in the conversation.

January 22, 2021 genesis

A good listener uses positive body language; leaning forward and showing an enthusiastic, relaxed nature. They don’t fidget, cross arms, look elsewhere or express inappropriate shock or disbelief at what’s shared.

January 22, 2021 genesis

A good listener does not hurry somebody, but asks good questions to guide the sharing. They guide and help shape what’s being shared, but if the other person feels cut off or squashed they’ve failed.

January 22, 2021 genesis

A good listener cares. They show empathy for what the other person has to say. It’s genuine, authentic and comes from a place of truthful concern.

January 22, 2021 renato

I believe that a great listener knows how to treat what is shared with confidentiality. They are trustworthy and sensitive with information and never look to use anything that is shared for any purpose other then good.

Good speakers don’t always make the best listeners. But a speaker who knows how to be a good listener, has a profound impact on someone who simply likes the sound of their own voice. Good listeners earn the right to speak, because they are sharing more than their own experiences.

January 22, 2021 James Santos

To become a better listener, be aware of what the other is saying. Listening literally means being quite. Don’t talk over others. Let them finish first.

Don’t talk too much that the other person’s opinion in hanged up. Pay close attention to what the other has to say.

January 22, 2021 Henrique

Proper listening is all about attention. You should be solely focused on the present conversation and issues discussed. Put everything down and be totally into the dialogue. Make sure you can retain everything you hear and can respond with more authenticity.

Show your respect to the person you listen to. Let her see that you are genuinely interested in what she has to say.

January 22, 2021 nico

Becoming a better listener takes more than your ears!! First, becoming a better listener means truly paying attention and giving the person the respect they deserve. This means minimizing distractions both external like cell phones and internally with keeping your thoughts focused on what the person is saying. Not everyone is a great communicator so you may need to work to understand what the person is saying. This means asking for clarification and/or paraphrasing what you heard the person say to check for accuracy. This helps the person to understand that you are really valuing what they are saying.

January 22, 2021 rhona

You become a better listener by being present during the conversation.

You don’t just hear the words, you pay attention to what is being said.

You don’t let yourself get distracted – focus on the person speaking, don’t let your attention wander to your phone, the tv, the painting on the wall, the waitress who dropped her tray, the conversations taking place at the tables around you. Focus on your own conversation.

January 22, 2021 Jimbogs

I think anyone can be a good listener. It just takes practice and self-control. It goes hand-in-hand with empathy. When you care enough about what another person has to say, listening to their words is easy. But sometimes you have to put in some work to care enough.

My main advice is to learn how to be present. If you focus on the moment, it’s easier to pay attention and listen to what people are saying, instead of letting the words flow in one ear and out the other.

January 22, 2021 edward

To listen. Try to truly listen and understand. Be involved in the conversation equally. If you are not familiar with the topic ask about it. Don’t just nod along to it at the fear of seeming dumb for not knowing about it. Their is no shame in not knowing something.

But its definitely wrong to lead someone when you don’t know what they are talking about. It will get you in trouble if your interaction with that person is on regular basis. Also, if you get caught in the act of nodding along you might come off as uninterested and forced to listen to them.

Also, when you ask questions you are involved in the conversation and it shows the person that you care and not just their for name sakes.

Hope it was helpful.

Have a wonderful day😊

January 22, 2021 Albert

I believe that one of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.

January 22, 2021 Hans Angelo

Practice always helps, and having a formula to practice will further expand your success. When listening, have a goal, such as finding what is the best about what someone is saying, then, before saying anything else, share with them the message you received from what they said. That doesn’t mean to repeat what was said word for word, rather, share the meaning of the words that were said. That way the person has the opportunity to clarify the message if you didn’t get it right.

January 22, 2021 genesis

I love the opinions of Mr. Aguirre and to share a relevant message, I just want to put this quote “Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

January 22, 2021 Nathaniel

The only thing one can become a better listener is by having patience, one should have patience to first let others complete the sentence whether agree to the point or not. Young people first need to be taught to have patience. I was the same when i started working , I had problem of not understanding what my managers are trying to say also during my schooling, but as the days and years passed by I learnt that answering a question in haste isn’t the solution, there might be difference of opinions if you listen less and talk more.
You can improve that by first allowing and helping the person to elaborate what one is trying to explain and by questioning them when there point is not clear and by also giving sufficient time for them to finish there sentence.

January 23, 2021 rhona

Listening is important because, it doesn’t matters at all that what you are doing and in what condition you are, there are people only whom you need to convince for your living.

It could be your family, friend or customer and to convince them you need to solve their problems and to solve anyone’s problem in this entire world you should listen the person who is speaking in front of you.

January 23, 2021 Joseph Santos

Listening skill is an important skill for effective communication as when you listen properly you will understand the speakers viewpoint, understand the intention of the speaker, understand what is said and what is not said, understand the verbal and nonverbal cues by Speaker . When you listen your mind can process the data effectively and the result will be message will reach to the listener.

January 23, 2021 edward

In order to make a living, one has to provide a service. If you dont listen well to your customer, how are to know what his needs are. If you don’t fulfil his needs, you won’t have a customer. Your customer can be your children, parent, boss, client, neighbor, etc.

The best friends are the ones that listen to us, right? So, everyone can benefit by developing this skill from a personal to business levels. From salesman, insurance broker, to software developer, the most successful are the ones that listen to their customer needs and apply that knowledge to the service.

January 23, 2021 Hans Angelo

A good listening skill lead to many positive outcome. It’s irrelevant how many languages a person speak but if that person is unable to listen and understand what is being said he/she will not be able to communicate back

The listener needs to be on the same wavelength as the speaker; to have the meeting of the mind

A good listener would usually have a lot of patience and understanding

January 23, 2021 jocelyn

Listening to another has more impact on that person than talking to them as they feel heard and respected as well as more inclined to then listen to you. By listening you put yourself in a stronger position as you have more knowledge and information than you do when you just do the talking

January 23, 2021 genesis

Listening is an art. In fact, it is a type of mindfulness meditation. When you are listening to someone, you must not have any image of the person, that is you must not let the past to intrude. As if you are listening to a new person intently, and at the same time you are listening to yourself for any reaction to crop up. Your mind should be silent. Then you realize what the person is really trying to convey.

January 23, 2021 Janeth

Talking comes normally to people, but listening is an art. For the simple reason that it requires immense patience. You instantly develop better relations by listening because the other person believes that someone actually wants to hear them out. Plus it feels good not to be consumed by your own endless chatter. I stopped speaking more than I should have and it changed my life for the better in ways uncountable!

January 23, 2021 Anton

Listening skills allow one to make sense of and understand what another person is saying. In other words, listening skills allow people to understand what someone is talking about-the meaning behind the words. listening is very important for good communication.

Understanding how to practice good communication in our day to day life with friends, family, and significant others to increase our self-esteem, improving relationship and even becoming a better speaker.

January 23, 2021 Albert

Listening is important because we listen for information, to comprehend, to help and to evaluate. When we listen effectively, we learn more, we improve our relationships and become successful on the job. Becoming a more effective listener is an interesting and exciting process.

January 23, 2021 Jerome

Listening to others gives many benefits. You can learn new things, build trust, experience new perspectives, etc. This can give you a huge advantage over those who don’t listen to others and just wait for the first chance to talk instead.

January 23, 2021 James Santos

Listening and contemplation are the best ways to learn people and world, but it’s not so easy to listen as it might seem. One should learn to become a good listener, to make people confide you, share their feelings and even secrets.

January 23, 2021 aldwin

Listening play an important part in one’ life. Because just hearing what someone is saying does not help you much.

Active listening is where all the benefits accrue. This is where you can understand the hidden meaning of what the other person is saying. People in general, use different phrases, expressions, idioms, sentences while they speak. It also depends on their state of mind while they speak.

Active listening helps you to segregate whether it is a phrase, expression or whether it is a question that they are trying to ask you.

This will certainly help you to improve your communication skills because one who is good at listening will also be good at complementing someone, responding to a question, giving a suggestion to someone.

January 23, 2021 Henrique

Active listening is an important skill for anyone to develop. This skills along with other skills such as critical thinking and problem-solving are highly valued in the workplace by employers. To increase your understanding of the information given to you, you must be more effective in your active-listening skills. This skill is also an essential component of leadership.

January 23, 2021 Jimbogs

People loves attention especially in conversations and being a fantastic listener will help you to achieve this. They will feel appreciated, heard and noticed which are important for you to establish a good relationship with them. A good listener also is more focused. As a result, they tend to remember the content of the conversation more easily. I’d say, listening skill is very important because it is the key to a great communication.

January 23, 2021 nico

Communication per se is a difficult process.

The message has to overcome the natural filters of different backgrounds of those involved with their preformed beliefs and prejudices as well as the limitations of the language with words denoting something and connoting something else in the minds of the recipients.

In addition if there is a failure of active listening this problem magnifies resulting in miscommunication and more and more time being wasted to rectify that to clarify what is being told.

January 23, 2021 Jerome

One, because it feels great to be heard.
If you give people that feeling, then they’ll want to talk to you, about more personal things, and they’ll trust you.
Two, dialog doesn’t happen when you take turns talking, but when you take turns listening. When you listen to each other, you resolve problems and you get cooperation and synergy.

January 23, 2021 edward

Unless you are a good listener, you can never be a good speaker. Listening to learn, listening to understand and listening to enjoy are the keys to lead a prospective life.

To go back to the old era, we were listening to our grandmothers and when we were listening to the stories we were totally immersed and we were happy to visualize what we were listening. I would say with that active listening skill. we still remember those stories.

I hope I am making sense.

January 23, 2021 genesis

Active listening is an overlooked leadership tool. To realise the importance of good listening skills is of utmost importance. Through good speaking skills, one can very well understand other people’s point of view and can therefore make a better decision.

January 23, 2021 Hans Angelo

When you listen with full attention, you are communicating respect. By offering speakers respect, you gain theirs.

January 23, 2021 Hans Angelo

If you listen first, others are more likely to return the favour. There will always be people who, because of stress, self-absorption or other reasons, will use another person’s ear and not return the favour. Nevertheless, the great majority of individuals understand there should be give and take in conversation.

January 23, 2021 Hans Angelo

Attentive listening helps you learn more about other people. Knowing more about people is helpful in your professional life as well as personal life. Imagine the benefits when you understand your boss, colleagues, customers, spouse, friends, and family members better.

January 23, 2021 Hans Angelo

Careful listening helps you avoid some of the confusion, misunderstandings and conflicts that are common in conversations. Careful listening offers an opportunity to circumvent the usual arguments and conversation traps.

January 23, 2021 Jimbo

Listening is a key people skill because everyone comes to any situation with their own preconceptions, their own biases, and their own language. Only by listening carefully to what someone says can you best determine what they mean. And only by understanding what someone means can you determine what they need. And, once you know what someone needs, you can determine whether and how you can help them satisfy that need.

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