THE CAUSES OF INSECURITIES & OVERTHINKING – Do you know the reason why most people buy things that they don’t need, but still buy them nevertheless? How about why some guys or girls haven’t asked the person they liked for the longest time just yet? How about those that have not talked to their boss yet about a promotion that they always deserved? Or why some have dreamed about having thousands of followers talking about their passion but haven’t started that YouTube VLog channel of theirs yet? (BTW, I’m on YouTube too It’s because of their insecurities and fears. They’re not aware of it, not even it’s manifestations. And sometimes, it’s just more than just insecurities or overthinking.

You see, most of the things that drive us all, however big or small they are, have a place where it all began deep below the surface level. We’re not aware about those places or took the time to know the reason why. To answer the question “Who are you?” (previous blog needs us to stop entertaining our minds to put band-aids to know what’s the wound underneath it. That’s the only way to figure out what’s going on beneath a person’s insecurities.

Understanding our motivations behind our actions is how we can learn where it came from. From there, we take the needed action plans to have small progress moving forward. Not around, but through it instead, no matter how small the openings may be. This is how we make bold moves to reach our goals. It makes the effort to do this. Here’s why.

Take the time to discover what’s beneath our surface in different areas. Examples are our careers, our relationships and other things makes us go for what’s the best. Do this instead of getting what’s just easy to access or is available to us. Removing the band-aids needs us to ask ourselves the question “Why do I do that?”. Allocating the time and place to do this is something that needs our utmost attention. You need this uninterrupted time so do what you need to get this for yourself. Otherwise, the wounds will never heal, worse of all, it is going to stink.


I usually just sit in my car by myself at times and spend time to reflect on those things underneath my surface that drives my surface. I treat this like an appointment that I set myself like my regular car change oil every 10K KM. It’s because I recognize that I can’t miss this because my life depends on that. This is part of “Me” time that I always tell my students that they need to provide themselves regularly. We sometimes get so busy and tied up with our work and responsibilities, that we tend to forget to take care of ourselves, not just physically, but our emotional state as well.

A life that is always on repeat every single day is a life that has no expectations to grow or learn. A life that is constantly anticipating means that it’s ready to do a lot of self-examination. You can’t fix what you don’t have the time for to understand. I know it scares and makes you uncomfortable, but if you’re willing to take this take seriously, you’re going to find a lot of good information about yourself here. Some difficult, scary and unavoidable things? Absolutely. But then you’ll know what to it takes to be the REAL YOU. This is how you can deal with your constant insecurity or your constant overthinking. You’ll be able to take head on the actual nuances and hindrance in your life, not just the ones you perceive.

Do you really want to just settle for a surface level you instead of discovering the real you? If you are just surface level you, then you’re just wasting another moment not getting to know yourself, which makes you not worth it get to know.

Go in front of a mirror and ask yourself “Who am I really?”. You’d be surprised with the response that you’ll get.

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What people talk 46 Comments

January 4, 2021 Khel Lawrence

Actually, this is really the no. 1 problem of people– “doubt”, or “fear”. We always have that potential at hand, but doubting ourselves will weaken our potential. It may be because of a trauma we experienced from trying the potential, or the fear of an unknown future.. Who knows? What I really know is that doubting will get you to nowhere. Always have to try…at least you did something..

January 8, 2021 Mike Ulep

Everyone has their own insecurities in life. May it be their own physique, or with other people, this is already a part of our lives. Whenever we want to accomplish something, we always think of something negative — our “what if’s”. This is natural for us. Whatever those maybe, what I may share with everyone is to think clearly and carefully about your what ifs in life. Always think positively and little by little, remove your insecurities in life.

February 2, 2021 rhona

Usually it’s due to abuse or some kind or neglect in teaching kids how to believe in themselves. The world is full of the encouragement messages but not the methods by which people can actually use and understand from a kind of tactile point of view.

Put it this way. We’re taught facts and rules. Cute. What about how to be strong and confident in how we might interact with others, solve problems that require some physical strength, skill, or ingenuity, speaking skills, dating skills, etc.

February 2, 2021 rhona

We tend to only teach each other these things or want to learn after we experience a problem. We don’t do it so much as a pro active thing. Sometimes kids are just interested in some things that help them out by proxy, but again, we simply don’t seem to think to prioritize teaching kids things on a regular basis as a culture that’d more assure they dont become problems to begin with.

In my mind, this is a neglect in basic nurturing.

February 2, 2021 James Santos

Because of high, but also double, standards. During our growth process of becoming self-responsible adults, we are exposed to different levels of psychological and mental beliefs that shape the world around us. Many of those beliefs are in correlation to the way you are perceived in the world, and what a “confident” and “strong” person needs to be like.

Majority of these issues stem from people’s misunderstanding and the direct misuse of their Ego.

February 2, 2021 edward

Emotional trauma, and strong emotional experiences that shame us, blame us, and directly puts us below our own self-worth are going to leave long lasting effects, so unless we challenge the insecurities that we have, we will always carry them with us.

We learn as we grow, and we grow as we learn. It’s possible to overcome the stigma of insecurities, and the general belief that we’re worse off than anyone else.

February 2, 2021 Jimbo Manalastas

Because the world that we live in has become extremely superficial. Combine that with technology and social media and even individuals with healthy self-esteem will waiver and doubt themselves. Between Facebook and Instragram, everyone is constantly competing for likes and followers and it’s usually the hottest ones who have the most. This creates very unhealthy competition among peers and the problem is, most of the time you are competing with a mere illusion. Photoshop and crazy make-up tricks like Contouring, make a person look completely different than they actually do in real life. Many people practically kill themselves trying to achieve this and end up even more unhappy. Don’t buy into the hype and stay away from toxic websites and social media and focus on the beauty that’s around you all the time. You will be much healthier and happier with yourself.

February 2, 2021 aldwin

Constantly failing to live up to one’s own expectations definitely causes insecurity, even doubt about what it means to be alive. The longer the “losing streak,” the more the individual will tend to “over reach” for grandiose goals in hopes of compensating for prior failures — while secretly adopting smaller, more realistic ideas of what they can really achieve in this life.

The grandstanding of an insecure person hides his or her ever-diminishing sense of self; being a “knob” or a “jerk” scares people away to reduce the likelihood any of them will be around to hurt his or her feelings.

Many people will become hermit-like in their quest to avoid being compared to others! This is a form of damage control, and they’ll let others into their internal world very slowly over fear of being rejected for who they are.

February 2, 2021 jocelyn

It’s a primal thing for us to compete with each other. The bad thing about that is: mostly, we lose.

No matter what you do, someone does that better than you. Someone will always be better looking than you, unless they’re a couple with someone you’re attracted to, in which case you will hate them for being just as good as you.

February 2, 2021 jocelyn

Another bad thing about that is, people are horrible to you all through life, because they can be. (The internet really brought that to the forefront of life, didn’t it?)

So you should try harder and work on your issues, but you should also understand that when it comes to what you want in life, you’ve got to go for it now, not later when you assume you’ll be good enough. There is no later.

And you’ve got to try to be OK with yourself when you lose. Everybody loses, Yes, them too, those people you admire. Don’t think you’re worse than them because you know you didn’t win, because nobody does…until they do.

Good luck to you.

February 2, 2021 genesis

You feel insecure:

When you don’t know or understand yourself.

When you don’t understand the immediate world around you. Usually the first point leads to the second.

When you know what to expect from yourself and when you like yourself, you are ready to navigate the world. It’s like having a good ship and a good captain and good tools. You don’t worry then, you just get excited.

When you don’t know yourself, it’s like being thrown into an unstable boat in the wild seas. It’s scary and feels out of control. That is insecurity.

February 2, 2021 Hans Angelo

I feel people are the most insecure when it comes to themselves. Overthinking and imagining situations are the root cause of being insecure. People tend to compare themselves with whatever that’s better than them intellectually, physically, quantitatively or financially and that is where insecurity crops up. Being content yet aiming high is the perfect way to stop this.

February 2, 2021 Anton

Most are insecure about relationships.

Too many think that he or she cannot talk to the opposite sex any more now in a relationship.

From what I have learned and seen-insincerity as broken up many relationships.

People should stop being insecure or jealous.

Just accept they are in a relationship-and if the relationship lasts, that is good.

If it does not last-it was not meant to be.

February 2, 2021 Ren

there are many factors that can contribute to make a person insecure. It may start with strict parents, a person will have the fear of failing all the time, will be careful before speaking and be too quite comparing to other peers. At school for example even bullies have some problems of being insecure and they are acting in a way to get more attentions. Otherwise it can be the result of some bad experiences and not being able of brush off the negativity.

February 2, 2021 Albert

The need for a good outcome, from a bad past they get depression and from a suspected bad future they get anxiety and feel insecure.

The solution is….time is an illusion. It’s always now ,the present moment. You don’t have to be driven by the past nor the future, drive now. You are at the wheel off the direction you decide you go. It’s you…..always your choice.

The outcome doesn’t have to be good, nor bad. Just take things as they come, enjoy the good things and endure the bad. Life isn’t that complicated.

February 2, 2021 Pogi

It’s anxiety. The shit makes you insecure and then perpetuates it by making you feel threatened, you don’t question the feeling but rationalise it by looking around for that threat, and you find something to project it onto, maybe a person near you who happened to be around when you were looking for what was causing the feeling of threat and by now you’re seeing everything in black or white, and you lash out or make one or other rash and bad decision founded in unjust distrust, which you eventuallly realise, and you shame yourself and cringe at your actions, self-worth in free fall, and then you get more insecure, more anxious, etc so on so forth,

anxiety is toxic, especially together with shame

February 2, 2021 Andrea

you have not learned to appreciate your own special talents. Everyone, believe me, is good if not great at something. And very few are always aware. I used to be inordinately insecure about my weight, facial characteristics, hair, class performance, was insanely shy around girls, had only a friend or two…then, one day, it just hit me: I am ruining this precious life I was given, through sheer cowardice. Think of yourself, then, as a warrior going to battle. Study yourself, embrace who you are, arm yourself against the world, and go forth.

February 2, 2021 Jerome

Insecurity this is the main problem of one’s individual due to lack of respect with themselves in the sense that they cannot stand by their own,they depend on others,what they see in others is what they want to be like theirs .Envy and being a dependent person is a cause of too much insecurities .

February 2, 2021 Jane

Insecurities due to social anxiety We all deal with low confidence sometimes during social gatherings . This in turns again lowers your self confidence n u will start feeling anxious . This mainly happens when you create a hypothetical situation that the other people are better than you and u stand nowhere in front of them .

February 2, 2021 Jane

Insecurities driven by perfectionism

This i think is the most common one . We all want to look perfect , behave perfect , work perfect . We all want to rise and shine with flying colors but sometimes life takes some unplanned turns and everything can’t be as perfect as you want . This in turn gives you hell lot of insecurities about yourself . You will start feeling if you are good enough or not and lots of negative thoughts will knock your mind .

What we need to do is to have faith in ourselves!

February 6, 2021 James Santos

Engaging mind towards a particular topic/incident/person and developing thoughts related to them. Thinking of thoughts which are not real and assuming it to become real in future.

These thoughts will tempt you to think more about them, in every direction (mostly negative) and you will end up feeling unsecured, unmotivated or worried.

February 6, 2021 James Santos

Whenever your mind starts overthinking, get up and do some activities which would require your physical and mental attention, like playing outdoor games, cooking, photography, talking to friends, riding bike or anything in which you’d like to spend time to eliminate unwanted thoughts.

Keep your mind busy for productive outputs instead of producing unnecessary thoughts.

February 6, 2021 Anton

The mind is tricky and trains itself how to think based on your experiences and actions. Metacognition is thinking about how you think. Once you know how your mind processes information you can use that knowledge to use overthinking to your advantage. You can also learn how to interrupt overthinking once you figure out how you process information.

February 6, 2021 Nico

Over thinking occurs as a manner of predicting the future, which you know is impossible. We over think because we want to be armed with a lot of possible solutions that may help regarding a very tangible existing issue that will eventually come. We like to relax ourselves knowing we have a lot of arsenal to take down the perceived enemy. Then when we are in the process of relaxing we over think again because of questions like: Have I thought enough? Is there something I missed? What if the thoughts I have do not work? What I do this instead of that? What if I am wrong? What if what if? It will be a vicious never ending cycle that you might end up losing because of all the ruminations on your mind. It’s easy to say “please relax” but you better relax for your own good. We will not know what will happen a few minutes from now or tomorrow. Living in the past makes one depressed, living in the future makes one worry, living alternately from the past and future maybe lethal. Live in the present and stay alive.

February 11, 2021 Dwayne

I am a chronic over thinker. I think too much. I dwell on my past and I feel anxious about my future. Overthinking meant I was an intellectual and made me feel more mature. I couldn’t have been more wrong!

Overthinking is actually a disguise for perfectionism in my case. I think too much about something because I always want to be right. I want to please and get the approval of other people in all that I do. It is a way of crippling myself and limiting my possibilities.

To overcome this, I have started to adopt the following five techniques which have been helping me in the past few months.

February 11, 2021 Dwayne

Do something. Whenever I start thinking too much, I don’t sit around and let my thoughts hijack my time. I will either read a book, listen to music or write down the thought on a piece of paper. By doing so, I am letting out or getting rid of the thought pattern or distracting myself with some activity.

February 11, 2021 Dwayne

Spend less time alone. When I spend too much time by myself, I feel overwhelmed and depressed . To overcome this, I travel to meet new people or re-engage with my old friends. If there is no one, I listen to a podcast or engage with people online. Getting new perspective always breaks our old thought patterns.

February 11, 2021 Dwayne

Practicing gratitude. Whenever I feel weighed down by the problems of my life, I immediately start finding fault with myself or people around me. This is a direct consequence of overthinking. I am choosing to see the sorrows and refusing to see the blessings in my life. To overcome this, I write a thank you message to a friend or write things that I am grateful for everyday. This way, I am refusing to see myself as a victim and start taking responsibility for my actions

February 11, 2021 Dwayne

Developing a habit. Most times I over think, because I am just idle and have no clue about what I am doing. Instead of sitting around, I started developing new habits. I go for walks, clean my room, ride to nearby places, learn to cook a new dish. I have made it a point to start doing things that scare me. It’s about developing a new habit that will help us move away from our lazy, entitled self of the past.

February 11, 2021 Dwayne

Asking for help. I cannot stress this point enough. If you are not able to do anything of the above or feel like being stressed out all the time, ask for help from the people you trust. Open yourself up and become vulnerable. This has worked wonders for me in the recent months. I no longer hold my thoughts and emotions to myself. People who love us , will never break our trust and will respect us more for reaching out for help. It is a healthy habit and there is absolutely no shame in asking for help.

February 11, 2021 Dwayne

These are a few things that you can do to keep yourself in a better physical, mental and spiritual space. Your life is unique, there is no comparison with anyone else. It is okay to feel shitty or over think at times. We need to make sure that it does not keep happening again and again.

Most important of all, please remember you are not alone. There are so many people who suffer from overthinking. There is always a solution around the corner.

The best way to move away from overthinking is to stop thinking about the problems and start focusing on the solution.

February 11, 2021 Dwayne

I am no expert in this but in my experience , all of what I have mentioned above have helped me get better at handling my thoughts and emotions over the years.

This will always be a work in progress and it is important to be patient and kind to ourselves through the process. Day by day, step by step, keep improving. One day, you will be surprised by how good you have gotten at this.


February 11, 2021 Jerome

In order for an overthinker to stop her habit of overthinking, she has to change her mindset. Most importantly, she has to accept that life is about trial and error. Be willing to go with the flow and be flexible and adaptive.

Life is not about being comfortable with where you are, but it is about growth, physically, mentally and spiritually. Nevertheless, no matter how much you have grown, you can never be perfect, thus be open to criticism.

It is true that we have to take precautions, but just enough to keep you going. Make your life simple and easy, and be willing to learn from your mistakes.

February 11, 2021 James Santos

Awareness is the beginning of change. Before you can begin to address or cope with your habit of overthinking, you need to learn to be aware of it when it’s happening. Any time you find yourself doubting or feeling stressed or anxious, step back and look at the situation and how you’re responding. In that moment of awareness is the seed of the change you want to make.

February 11, 2021 Jerome

Don’t think of what can go wrong, but what can go right. In many cases, overthinking is caused by a single emotion: fear. When you focus on all the negative things that might happen, it’s easy to become paralyzed. Next time you sense that you starting to spiral in that direction, stop. Visualize all the things that can go right and keep those thoughts present and up front.

February 11, 2021 James Santos

Realize you can’t predict the future. No one can predict the future; all we have is now. If you spend the present moment worrying about the future, you are robbing yourself of your time now. Spending time on the future is simply not productive. Spend that time instead on things that give you joy.

February 11, 2021 Anton

Overthinking is like a poison that will kill your personality, your peace and at the end the real you. Problems occur in every one’s life but the stronger person is one who tackles the problem and sort it out by finding a solution.

But if you keep thinking of your problems it will ruin your present as well as your future and leave you with empty handed. Unluckily if something bad happens, no worries accept that bad and face the reality and if you are dread of losing something i.e people etc , so, this will be the right time for finding the right people ,the sincere ones , those who will be with you permanently in your every good or bad.

February 11, 2021 Anton

No doubt, problems are the cause of overthinking but because of these problems you would become a stronger person in the future. In short problems are the blessings.

Overthinking make your problems worse but a peaceful mindset only be able to solve all those problems it will only happen when you will take your problems as a challenge or as a part of your life.



February 11, 2021 Nigel

I have been through ups and downs and had many depressions just because of overthinking. And I also know how you feel right now, it is just so tiring.
However the more I dig deep inside it, I found out that most of my overthinking thoughts are just the voices of other people. We are too nice, we care so much about others, what they think about us, what they like, what they want, and so we forgot to love ourselves. That’s the reason why we overthink, we scare that we are not good enough, we overthink every word we say and every action we make.

Being kind is good, that’s what you such a unique individual, but you’ve got to care for yourself first in order to care for others.

February 11, 2021 Edward

Overthinking is the easiest thing to do when you’re doubtful about yourself or mainly when the situation is not in your control. This, in turn, leads to anxiety-causing other alarming conditions for psychological disorders.

However, to learn to not overthink is a gradual process of understanding the symptoms, reading one’s behaviour and a conscious attempt to not let your clouded judgement spoil your mental peace. In order to achieve that, meditation is one of the most simple and effective ways to overcome stress-related situations.

Multiple theories and researches talk about reasons for stress and their coping mechanisms. Nevertheless, it is a human behavioural condition and requires dedication and support to master.

March 4, 2021 Aldwin

Lack of Confidence Because of Social Anxiety. Many of us experience a lack of confidence in social situations like parties, family gatherings, interviews, and dates. The fear of being evaluated by others—and found to be lacking—can lead you to feel anxious and self-conscious. As a result, you may avoid social situations, experience anxiety when you anticipate social events, or feel self-conscious and uncomfortable during them.

March 4, 2021 Aldwin

Insecurity Driven by Perfectionism. Some of us have very high standards for everything we do. You may want the highest grades, the best job, the perfect figure, the most beautifully decorated apartment or house, neat and polite kids, or the ideal partner. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always turn out exactly the way we want, even if we work extra hard. There is a piece of the outcome that is at least to some degree out of our control.

March 4, 2021 Jerome

Success is something that all of us hold dearly. We have goals, ambitions and dreams. When the desire for success gets bigger, the fear of failure also grows, leading to insecurities.

Many people fail in life, because they take their own insecurities and try to twist them into others and thereby killing everything that is beautiful – life, relationships, confidence, self-esteem and much more.

March 4, 2021 Joseph Santos

When you start living life by comparing yourself with others, you are bound to feel insecure, because your life, your situations, your goals can’t be the same as others.

So stop comparing yourself. Be happy in your own space and zone. This does not mean you should stop improving, just stop comparing yourself so much with others that you make a mess of your life.

March 4, 2021 Nico Oliveros

Don’t be in constant competition with others. You are not a sum of what your competitors do. You fare better in life when you compete with yourself to do better than what you were yesterday.

The game of being better than others is never ending and can result in disappointments

March 4, 2021 Jimbogs

If you are persistent you will get it, if you are consistent you will keep it. Be consistent. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, it’s what we do consistently. So shed your insecurities consistently and take a fresh look at life.

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